


Of Timeturners And Nifflers

by catatonichristy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Domestic Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Flirting, Hogwarts Professors, M/M, Public Display of Affection, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 04:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17676518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catatonichristy/pseuds/catatonichristy
Summary: Summary: Inspired by @laurainlilac’s Hogwarts Professor Au tweets/art. Hope you like it!





	Of Timeturners And Nifflers

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Swearing, Very mild slurs & mentions of sex/sexual acts.

“Philip Michael Lester!” Dan’s shrill voice filled their small cottage home, followed by a squeak that definitely belonged to one Professor Lester.

“Yes, Dear?” he asked in a sweet tone, battering his eyelashes towards Dan.

“You need to stop letting the animals eat your clothes! We only have so much fabric and in case you forgot my job is not sewing your clothes!” he exclaimed, faux annoyance in his tone. Sure, having to constantly fix his clothes was a chore, but he loved Phil and he knew how much he loved his animals.

“Just magic it!” he answered with a grin.

“That’s not the point and you know it,” he laughed, picking up the cloak and looking at Phil with a calculating look from between one of the holes.

Phil laughed, marching up to him and kissing him through the hole. “I’ll deal with it,” he compromised. Dan just kissed him again.

“We both know your shit at sewing, magic or not.”

“Toosh,” he laughed, squeezing Dan’s hand before turning towards their personal zoo. Phil - for Gods knew what reason - always insisted they bring the animals home over the Christmas break. He insisted the animals couldn’t be left alone for that long and Dan always agreed because he wanted the love of his life to be happy, even if that meant living in a zoo with magical - and probably deadly - creatures.

~~~~

“Dan, did you remember the tickets?” Phil asked slowly, nervously.

“You said you’d get them, didn’t you?” he asked back, worried now.

“I don’t have them,” Phil squealed, defeated. What were they supposed to do now? The train for London was leaving in seven minutes and they didn’t have time to go home.

Dan, after looking around and making sure no one was watching, pulled Phil over to the wall and pulled his wand from his bag. “Accio, tickets,” he mumbled, speaking clearly as he moved his wand through the air.

Phil had been looking around, watching for muggles who may be paying too much attention but he’d been looking the wrong way. When he spun around to see Dan holding the tickets they’d left behind, there was a young boy - maybe nine or ten - staring with wide eyes.

Phil could sense the magic in him - kinda like a gaydar but for magic - and he smiled. He held his finger up to his mouth in a universal sign for ‘shh’ and the boy swallowed before nodding and running off.

“You’re a doofus, you know that?” Phil whispered to him, urgency in his tone as the intercom announced their train being four minutes away.

“Well at least we have the tickets!” he snapped. “Now come on!” His long fingers latched onto Phil’s cloak and tugged, pulling him off the wall and into the heard of rushing muggles.

“Thank  _ Gods _ ,” Dan sighed, flopping down onto the seat he’d managed to secure. “Do you know what Dumbledore would have done to us if we missed the start of the year?”

“He’d be fine;  _ Albus _ wouldn’t have minded.” Dan pulled a face at his first name. Sure, they were colleagues technically and Dumbledore had requested a first name basis but Dan refused. Dumbledore was his own headmaster when he’d been at Hogwarts and even if he weren’t anymore, Dumbledore felt much more natural, so that he had remained.

“You don’t know that,” Dan argued feebly. Phil just laughed, pulling Dan into a side-hug and kissing his head. Dan hummed, leaning into his partner and closing his eyes.

~~~~

They arrived at Hogwarts a week before the students would begin showing up. “Phil! Dan! How ya going?” Hagrid asked, voice deep and loud as it always was.

“Good good. How are you?” Phil answered.

“Yeah, I’m good, great even. The new students are coming in a week and I’m excited to meet all of them.”

Dan hummed as he half-listened to his large friend and half struggled with his and Phil’s luggage. “Phil!” Dan suddenly whined.

“Yes?”

“How’d I end up with both our luggage anyway?” he demanded, wobbling before a bag slid from his grasp.

“I’m just excited, sorry Honey,” Phil answered. He gripped his wand and pointed it towards Dan as he struggled to stand upright and not lose the bags. Which a quick flick, the suitcases and backpacks levitated above his head and Dan shrugged with embarrassment.

“Forgot,” he mumbled. Hagrid laughed.

“Ya forgot ya a wizard?”

“Hey!” Dan fired back, fake offence in his expression but laughter in his voice.

“He’s just teasing,” Phil consoled. “Anyway, maybe we could catch up over tea? We should be getting to our rooms.”

“Yeah sounds good,” he grinned, patting Dan on the back with too much force and picking Phil up in his arms and cuddling Phil as if he was a doll and Hagrid was a small child.

They smiled at each other, giggling as Phil adjusted his hair, and then made their way towards their rooms.

“Philip! How are you, Deary? And Daniel too!”

“Iris! So good to see you again. We’ve been good, how about you?”

“Oh, same old same old,” she dismissed, smiling wide. “Password?”

Dan rolled his eyes. “You know us; you know these are our chambers,” Dan replied, salty only because he never remembered the passcode.

“Dan just needs some sleep, sorry. Dittany,” Phil explained.

“Come on in, and no problem,” she replied, opening up. Phil climbed through the portrait frame and Dan followed, frowning at Phil.

“I’m not tired,” he declared.

Phil just raised an eyebrow and laughed. “Sure. And I’m not the professor of care for magical creatures.”

“Oh shove off,” Dan growled. Phil placed the bags down on the couch and stepping over towards Dan.

“You’re just proving my point,” Phil smirked, placing his hands on Dan’s hips and leaning in for a quick kiss. “How about if you nap, I’ll do all the unpacking?” he offered, knowing there was no other way to make Dan sleep even though he clearly needed it.

Dan leaned in, kissing Phil again. “Fine, but I reserve that I am not tired.”

~~~~

“Dan, Dan love, time to wake up,” Phil said quietly, grabbing Dan’s shoulder and shaking slightly.

“M’ ugh, five more minutes,” he grumbled.

“Not five more minutes,” Phil replied. “It’s time for his royal highness to wake up.”

“But I don’t wanna.”

“Well if you don’t you’re gonna get jetlag,” Phil replied, sitting beside Dan’s legs on the edge of the bed.

“We didn’t go on a plane to get here,” Dan rebutted, rolling over and looking into Phil’s eyes. “You’re pretty,” he whispered.

“And you’re half asleep,” he laughed in reply, cheeks heating a little at the compliment. “Come on, up you get.” He helped Dan into a seated position and passed him a glass of water.

“What time is it?”

“Almost Six. I promised Albus we’d have dinner with him and the others so you have to get up. I let you sleep as long as I could.”

Dan grumbled before climbing from the bed and pulling on some pants over his boxers.

“How are all the creatures?” Dan asked in passing as he crossed the room to the wardrobe. He buttoned up a nice shirt and pulled his cloak on overtop.

“They aren’t creatures!” Phil argued. “They’re living being just like us! But they’re all settling in well, if you’re actually curious and not just trying to annoy me so I’ll leave you behind.”

Dan kissed him on the way to the bathroom. “You know me too well.”

~~~~

Dan sighed, Phil was teaching at the moment but he wasn’t and he was bored bored  _ bored _ . He had no idea what to do with himself when Phil wasn’t around - classes were the only time they separated after all. But still, here he was, with Care for Magical Creatures -  _ “they aren’t creatures” my ass _ \- still lasting another forty minutes.

They were only five weeks into the term and yet Dan was bored. Sure, he had plenty of work he could - and to be honest, should - be doing, but that didn’t mean he wanted to. He’d just pay Phil a blow job or something and get him to do it. But that still didn’t solve the problem of what to do.

He groaned, flopping back onto the bed and feeling the smooth fabric beneath his fingers.  _ The wonders of magic, _ he laughed.  _ How on Earth do muggles survive? _

Dan sat up, an idea suddenly in mind. If Phil couldn’t come to him, he could always go to Phil. Sure, he was teaching, but how much trouble could Dan cause.

“Bowtruckles are generally quite friendly unless you chop down one of their trees or try to harm it in any way. They protect the forests and care for them greatly. Jeremy! Stop that! You’re hurting him!” Phil shouted, trying to contain the Slytherin who only laughed and continued teasing the rat on his desk.

“Mr Heere! I suggest you do as I say unless you want extra homework!” he demanded. Thankfully that seemed to shut the third-year up and Phil went back to teaching. He had half a mind to ask Minerva why she’d ever thought Hufflepuffs and Slytherins would go well together in a classroom.

Phil squeaked as he felt a hand on his butt. “Well good afternoon, Professor Lester,” a voice Phil instantly recognised said.

“Hello again, Daniel,” Phil answered. The hand was removed from his butt and he stepped away before Dan could do anything else.

“Something funny?” Dan snapped loudly, causing some wide-eyed students to sit up straight and stare ahead.

“No Professor, sorry.” Dan nodded and smiled at Phil to continue.

“Why thank you, Daniel. Zoe, did you have a question?”

The girl who had been caught whispering blushed. “No Professor Lester,” she replied, glaring at another Hufflepuff two seats over from her.

It wasn’t even ten minutes later that Dan was pulling out his wand and pointing it directly at the group of third-years that just wouldn’t shut up.

“Daniel! What are you doing?!” Phil asked, panicked and confused. But before Dan got to reply, a girl was speaking loudly and clearly.

“Look, Howell and Lester are flirting again,” a dark-skinned, curly-haired girl said before blushing vibrantly.

“Hah, typical,” another girl said, her cheeks heating seconds later.

A Slytherin girl spoke next - Chloe if Phil remembered correctly. “I heard Professor Lester has a secret wife.”

It was a small ginger boy who spoke next. He was muggle born and shy despite being a Slytherin. “I heard they’re secretly married to each other.”

Dan laughed as Phil’s face contorted into one of shock before cherries covered his cheeks and he coughed into his hand.

“Right, well. Uh-”

Dan saved him from any more embarrassment and pulled out his time-turner and flicked it back two minutes.

“-e, did you have a question?”

“No Professor Lester.”

Dan tucked the small pendant back into his cloak pocket and grinned when Phil looked towards him.

_ “Daniel, you must stop being late! Even the first years are arriving before you!” McGonagall exclaimed. Dan winced. _

_ “I’m sorry, seriously. I’ll work on it, I promise,” Dan replied. _

_ “Well you better, I have enough to work on without having to manage a professor who has no concept of time.” Dan nodded, knowing not to argue back. “Here, take this, a time turner,” she offered, holding the small golden pendant out in her hand. _

_ Dan took it gratefully. “Oh Gods, thank you so so much! With this I can sleep all I want!” he declared, excited by the premise. _

_ “And get to your classes on time with all your work done, I presume?” _

_ “Oh, yeah, uh, of course! Thanks!” And with that, Dan ran from the room before he could get in any more trouble. _

“Harold!” Phil shouted in panic, rushing forward towards Dan in an attempt to grab the niffler that was wiggling its way under Dan’s collared shirt.

“Naughty boy,” Phil scolded once he got a hand on the crea- being. Dan’s breathing was a little faster and not only from the scratches of the niffler. As Phil had reached for the platypus-like animal, his thumb had brushed Dan’s nipple. “Come on, hand it over,” Phil ordered and the niffler - Harold - looked sad before pulling Dan’s time-turner from its weird pouch thing. “Thank you.”

Phil held out the device to Dan. “Sorry, Daniel. Harold can be naughty.”

Dan pushed the pendant back into his pocket as Phil went about putting Harold away. Just as Phil walked by, Dan whispered, “I can be a naughty boy too.”

Phil choked but didn’t reply, walking down the aisles between desks and checking each student was doing as he’d asked.

“I know you can. Using the turner, that was very naughty,” Phil said after he got back to the front. He was nervous but he also knew if they were caught they could always reverse time or obliterate memories with numerous different spells or charms.

“What are you gonna do about it?” Dan challenged.

Phil smirked. “Nothing.”

“What?”

“Well you clearly want me to do something, so I won’t do anything.”

Dan sulked, whining in his ear about how naughty he’d been but Phil didn’t listen and definitely didn’t budge.

It was only ten minutes before the end of the class that Dan gave up and walked out of the room and back towards their chambers.

He flopped onto the couch and whispered a spell that caused stars to fill the ceiling. He looked at each one, trying to find the patterns that made constellations but he couldn’t find them. Muggles really were mad apparently.

“What are you up to?” Phil’s voice startled him and he jumped, losing his concentration on the stars and causing them to vanish.

“Nothing,” he sighed. “How was the rest of class,  _ Professor _ ?”

Phil smiled and sat down beside him. He turned Dan away from him so his back faced him and raised his hands to Dan’s shoulders. “Alright. The students won’t stop talking about how we keep flirting,” he laughed. And Dan’s shoulders tensed.

“How’d you know about that?”

Phil laughed, working to kneed the tension from Dan’s muscles.

“Our cloaks were touching when you rewound.”

“But that’s not how they-”

“Work? Yeah, I know, but I may or may not have my own little charm which reacts with any other it's touching, even if it’s as simple as our cloaks.”

Dan frowned. “That’s not fair,” he argued.

“You’re telling me about fair? You’re the one who gave me a near hard-on in class!” Dan spun around at that.

“I did, did I?” he smirked.

“Don’t get cocky, you know it’s not a good look.”

“Everything is a good look when it comes to me,” he laughed in return.

“So modest,” he rebutted, causing Dan to sneer.

“Can’t you just shut up and kiss me?”

“Do you deserve that?” Phil questioned lightheartedly.

“Hey! I’ve done all my work and haven't been late to any class this year!”

“I guess that is a pretty big achievement for you, huh?”

Dan nodded, smiling as he climbed onto Phil’s lap, a leg on either side of Phil’s. And leaned in, their noses touching.

“I don’t know if I’ve told you before but I love you,” Dan breathed.

Phil’s eyes lit up. “Only a few times,” he grinned, kissing Dan quickly. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! Feedback is greatly appreciated!
> 
> My Tumblr: catatonichristy.tumblr.com


End file.
